Gratitude for this opportunity to repay with a few words everything you have given me for so long.
When I thought about what I could give you today, I knew it had to be both durable and inspirational. Durable so that you could always find it and reflect on it. Hence this domain, which is now yours. Inspirational so that it could remind you of your ability to make every day ahead better than the one before. Hence these words, written to affirm my belief in your power to do just that.
You once said I was your first mentor. I may have never told you that you have also been a mentor to me. You have consistently taught and motivated me to be better, so please accept my gratitude for:
Helping me to learn from and emulate the selfless way you encounter others…you have been an example to me.
Showing me that rare soul like yours exists in this world and giving me the vision to see others like you…you have been a source of hope for me.
Graciously sharing your precious time even when you didn’t have much to give…you have been a selfless friend to me.
Providing me with a model of who I want to be and what I want to live up to…you have set a standard for me.
Giving me the opportunity to know you enough to be able to write these words...you have shared a special trust with me.
Life will always be a puzzle filled with choices and outcomes, both intended and unintended. Because of the things you have shown me, I will navigate it better, with more confidence, and with the ability to accept the unintended outcomes.
See, you have already given me an invaluable gift, and for that I will celebrate all of your highs, support each of your lows and fight your every cause. You have impacted my life forever Adrienne.
This is a love letter of sorts, but it is intended to celebrate instead of woo you. Unlike many love letters it is about you the recipient, not me the writer, and my aim is to remind you of you, the person visible to everyone who takes the time to look.
I understand that this is your first love letter. That means it inherently highlights the failure of every man who never wrote you words like these. Their neglect is their loss, for the they failed to see the priceless opportunity they were given.
Please know, their blindness is because they lacked the capacity to see you, not because you lacked the quality to be seen.
Spoken words may be forgotten and cards and letters may be lost, but this page and these words are here to remind you of your quality to be seen forever Adrienne.
People often begin letters like this with trite phrases they have heard elsewhere. Things like, “Adrienne, I wish I had known you earlier so I could have loved you longer.” While that statement is so true, it is common. It appears on posters and is applied to everyone, and it fails to do you justice because it is not about you.
Your personal character is rare and valuable, and you deserve hand-crafted words, deeds and a lifetime of love forever Adrienne.
We have spoken about accountability and the fact that without intention one cannot be accountable to their partner. You are intentional and therefore accountable, for every reason described in this letter.
In turn, you deserve a partner who has not only the capacity to purposefully consider what will help you to be your best, but the courage to deliver it. Even if that means looking inward at things that may be uncomfortable. When people are selfish or complacent, they fail at this, which often leads to a life full of words that lack thought, gifts that don’t fit, and hours spent together yet apart.
My gift to you is also a request. Please settle for nothing less than people who make the effort to be intentional about you. You deserve bespoke love, designed to fit and built to grow with you forever Adrienne.
I started writing this letter after you expressed doubt that I could write a list of one thousand adjectives describing you. While compiling that list I came to suspect that your doubt was less about my capacity to make the list and more about the fact that nobody had ever worked honestly enough to allow you to believe you were worthy of it. You are.
Please never forget that you are worthy of every good word, thoughtfully applied, and every good effort to make you a list. I hope these words help you to remember that forever Adrienne.
I wanted to make sure that you thought about 3 particular words today, Adrienne. These mean a lot to me, and you exemplify them:
INTEGRITY
C.S. Lewis famously said, “Integrity is doing the right thing when nobody is watching.” I believe it includes developing your own values and sticking to them even when it is difficult to do so.
As you may imagine, this is one of the most important concepts in the world to me. Though I sometimes fail, it is probably the thing I try hardest to give to others and the quality I try to make sure people I respect the most, like you, always see in me.
You are full of integrity. I have watched you for over a decade, as a friend and a colleague, and I am aware of so many times that you have done the right thing even when nobody is watching. On countless occasions, under difficult circumstances, I have seen you make the right choice to help others, and I have platonically loved you as a result.
I have more recently been blessed to begin to know you as a woman, and you have shown me the same integrity I've long seen you exercise with others. You consistently demonstrate your capacity to be honest and giving, selfless and caring, and do all you can to make sure I flourish.
While this may not be something you think about, because it comes naturally, I hope this letter reminds you to think about your integrity because it will protect you forever Adrienne.
RESPECT
To me this means recognizing another's value while selflessly giving them the consideration you would hope for yourself. In other words, live the Golden Rule – do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
You have exactly the right measure of respect. Without being silenced, you give people a chance to express themselves. Without being weak, you give people a chance to be strong. Without being less than, you allow others the chance to prove they can be more than.
I have noticed and admired this about you for years and have silently aspired to emulate you and treat people the way you do. Again, if others have never honored you for this, it is because they lacked enough respect, not because you didn't deserve it.
The respect you show others is profound. Please be aware of this and surround yourself only with people who have the respect to make you feel more than forever Adrienne.
HONESTY
Honesty matters. Without it people can never feel secure about their interactions with others. It is difficult to define, because it is personal and subjective, but it is also universal because it flows from integrity and respect. You are beautifully honest. I have seen you be honest in difficult circumstances, and I have seen you give people chances when fairness dictated, because you always do what you can to preserve others' dignity or opportunity. I love how and when you do that.
Honesty also involves bravery, and the strength to tell people what they may not want (but need) to hear. This is a very difficult thing to give, and you are consistent about it. I have always admired your ability to be honest in such a selfless and fair way, even when it applied to me. Anyone who cannot appreciate that, or who turns it against you and calls it a flaw, does not deserve the effort you make.
You are fair in your honesty and you deserve to receive the same in return forever Adrienne.
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Someone very important to you, who I have come to respect, recently asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I replied that I have not wanted anything in a long time, but this year I want you to find the faith in yourself to never again allow anyone to make you feel less than.
I love you, and that is my wish for you, forever Adrienne.
Merry Christmas
December 25, 2023.
Copyright © 2023 Your Words Forever Adrienne